The Steps Back to One Another
by ekagrey
Summary: My musings on Rayna and Deacon slowly finding their way back to one another. Speculates on Deacon's new relationship and Rayna finding her emotional footing enough to finally ask for what she wants
1. Chapter 1

Don't own the characters or the show…just playing around with the what if's…I'm a huge Rayna and Deacon shipper and want them to get together like yesterday! Hope you guys enjoy this.

CHAPTER 1

Philadelphia, PA

1:05 am

Drama.

That was the only word that Rayna Jaymes could think of as she washed off her make-up in the hotel bathroom sink.

She stopped to stare at her reflection in the mirror, watching water droplets run down the bridge of her nose, chin, and cheeks. There were dark circles under her eyes and a weariness in her gaze.

Drama…the word continued to ricochet around in her head, teasing and taunting her. How had her life, the life that she had so carefully worked to build, come to this point? She had made so many sacrifices over the years to build her career and construct a safe and stable world for her children just to watch it crumble around her in a matter of days. Drama was not a word she liked to associate with her life.

Still gazing at her reflection in the mirror, she went through a mental checklist, taking inventory of her current situation. Her marriage was in ruins and the evidence of its failure was national news. Her children were traumatized. Her career…well as successful as this current tour was, she was still on the road with Juliette Barnes, which was a blow to the ego in and of itself. Her relationship with Deacon was even more strained and oh so fragile. And her heart was in pieces at her feet. She felt like a failure. Everyone she had tried to protect was hurting and there was no easy answer as to how to fix it.

It had been over a month and a half since she sang for Deacon at the Bluebird during his birthday party and a little over a week since Rayna and Juliette's entourage with the Red Lips/White Lies tour had once again hit the road to take America by storm. They were slowly beginning to make their way down the East Coast and had just left New York. They had two nights of shows in Philadelphia before trekking down the other Atlantic states and then heading west. There were still a lot of days left on the road. A lot of days to feel guilty for leaving her children at home and a lot of days to stew in her personal misery. Rayna had brought Maddie and Daphne with her to New York to help ease them through the initial transition of her heading back out on tour since telling them and she and their father were getting a divorce. This also gave Teddy some time to get his new routine under control. She would have loved to keep the girls with her, but they had to go back to school and she wanted them to find a new sense of normalcy at home…not that it would feel normal to them for a long time…another failure to add to the list. Thankfully Tandy had been a big help and Rayna felt confident that the girls would be okay until she got back.

Rayna finished in the bathroom, flipped off the lights, and padded into her master suite. She was tired and she was sad. She wanted Deacon, but now that desire presented a whole new set of problems. Sometime, between his birthday and two weeks ago, while she was still scrambling to do damage control for her children and find emotional footing for herself, Deacon met someone. Not just a friendly let's mess around someone; this relationship already appeared to be serious. He looked happy, younger and more carefree than he had in years. When he looked at her, Rayna no longer saw the storm of emotion and longing. He simply looked at her like he did everyone else. He was distant and distracted, like he could walk away from her and not look back. This had never happened before. He had always been there, even when he wasn't. She wanted to be happy for him. The rational part of her mind told her that he deserved this happiness. She has been pushing and pulling him around for years; more recently, pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length. She knew he felt her cold shoulder, knew he believed, no matter how much she protested, that she had once again given up on him. Yes he more than deserved to find happiness and love with someone else. Her head told her all of this, but her heart was screaming don't leave me, please don't leave me; you said you loved me. How can you walk away?

She slowly sank to the edge of the bed, sighing as she cradled her face in her hands. "I wonder," she mused aloud, "if this is how he felt when I married Teddy and announced to the world that I was pregnant?" Her words were absorbed into the empty room. For the first time in her adult life she felt alone, really alone and it was terrifying and overwhelmingly sad. The thought of drowning her sorrows in alcohol briefly crossed her mind. She remembered the momentary relief she felt bar hopping with Liam after Deacon kissed her in an elevator and Teddy asked for a divorce, but drama and drinking went hand in hand. Rayna was determined that she was going to divorce that word once and for all. No, neither alcohol nor Liam McGuiness for that matter was the answer to her problem.

She turned out the lights, crawled under the covers, and willed the pain in her heart to subside enough so she could go to sleep. Tomorrow would come soon enough and bring all her problems along with it.

Two floors down Deacon hung up his cell phone and stretched out onto his bed. He lay staring at the ceiling for a while contemplating his good fortune. Just when he was about to give up on the possibility of being able to live a happy and uncomplicated life Lynn showed up. She was smart, fun, witty, knew what where she was going and what she wanted out of life, not in the music industry, beautiful, unattached, and uncomplicated. She appreciated Deacon for who he was and what he was able to bring to the table. She wasn't constantly looking for signs and symptoms of relapse and Deacon had yet to feel that she was waiting for him to disappoint her. It was a freeing feeling. To top it all off, she was just about as different from Rayna as she could possibly be…not that he was particularly looking for different from Rayna…or someone who was not Rayna. He hadn't been looking at all, but here she was.

For the past few weeks he had been floating on cloud nine. Heading back out on the road had been tough and he was finding that while he was physically present, he was mentally back in Nashville with Lynn. The only time he felt grounded at all was when he was on the phone with her. He smiled to himself. He was smitten. It was crazy how fast it had happened and how uncharacteristic it had all been. He knew that he needed to pull it together a little better than he was currently doing. Juliette was beginning to lose patience with him and he had absolutely no idea what was going on with Rayna other than that she had had the girls and Tandy with her a few days ago in New York. He needed to check back in, but in some ways he was reluctant to circle too close to her, afraid that he would get sucked back into her gravitational pull…he was free floating and was enjoying it. As he was falling asleep, Deacon decided that he would make a point to catch up with her tomorrow. It would give him a chance to test the waters.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Philadelphia, PA

4:30 pm

-Sound check-

"Sounds good ya'll. We're ready to roll." Rayna gave her band the thumbs up and headed towards the side of the stage where she handed her microphone to the sound technician. Grabbing a bottle of water she turned to gaze out over the empty auditorium. Even though she had performed countless times over the past two decades, she still felt the familiar thrill of excitement at the knowledge that in a few short hours those same empty seats would be filled with hundreds of people waiting to hear her sing. Not many people got the opportunity to live out their dreams on such a grand scale and Rayna felt truly blessed to be able to do what she loved and to have her work appreciated by so many. "I am going to be okay." She thought to herself still allowing her gaze to roam the auditorium. "I am going to get through this and I will be happy." Her internal declaration was sincere and her mind was made up, hopefully her heart would get the message soon and stop aching.

Last night she had allowed herself to be weak; to wallow in the her own misery and loneliness, but upon waking Rayna had decided that she had come too far and made too many sacrifices to allow for anymore weakness. She had to admit that she was partly responsible for how her story was playing out. She had married Teddy even though she didn't love him the way that he deserved, she had spent years sending Deacon mixed signals, and she had shut him out of her life over the past four months, giving him the opportunity to meet someone else. If Deacon wanted to move on then she had to deal with it…she would deal with it…she could survive this.

She thought she had things under control; her resolve firmly in place, and then she saw him. All the feelings she had just determined to shelve came crashing back. Her steely resolve all but melted and the dull persistent aching of her heart morphed into a searing, white-hot pain. "I don't know if I can," she whispered under her breath. She felt the flush of panic and the pressure of new tears. He looked so happy, so carefree. How was that even possible? For years he had been the Romeo to her Juliet; her star-crossed lover, the tortured man who completed her, but could not fully have her. How could the other half of her soul so easily and completely move on without her? It would have been different if he had fallen off of the wagon. She cringed at the acknowledgement of that truth, loathing herself because as horrible as it sounded, the possibility of Deacon relapsing was something that she was always halfway prepared for. Healthy Deacon truly moving on without her was unimaginable. No matter how strong she thought she was, this shook her to her very core.

The tears were becoming harder to hold back. Her eyes were stinging and shapes were getting hazy. She was beginning to feel lightheaded….she was falling apart. She had to get out of here, had to get away from him and away from the dozens of other people milling on or around the stage. "Breathe, just breathe." She willed her breathing to remain steady and cut out across the side stage area towards the hallway in quick and purposeful strides. If she could just make it to her dressing room she would be okay…she just needed the space and privacy to pull herself together. How she was going to get through the rest of this tour God only knew, but right now she was just focused on getting out of sight.

&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!

Deacon didn't see Rayna until she flew past him in a blur; he was opening his guitar case, preparing for Juliette's sound check. He sensed her more than saw her and looked up only to catch a glimpse of her retreating form. Having known her for most of his adult life and being fluent in all things Rayna, Deacon could tell that something was wrong. The question he now asked himself was whether or not to find out what that was. He was still just as hesitant today as he was last night at the thought of getting too close to her. Distance was allowing him to be happy; distance was keeping him safe.

Getting too close to Rayna at this point would be dangerous. They had been going through the motions of this dance for years: Rayna loved Deacon, Deacon loved Rayna, but Rayna was married or after her separation Rayna wasn't sure. Emotions were complicated, kids were in the mix, and the memory of his alcoholism was always looming in the background. She was unsure…she was scared...she needed time…he was waiting. He didn't even fully realize how pissed off he was that he had spent the better part of thirteen years waiting for Rayna until he met Lynn. She was allowing him to begin to imagine the possibility of a heading in a new direction and building a new future. The thing was, and this was what scared him more than anything, if Rayna asked him to walk away from Lynn, even without the assurance that they would be together, he knew he would do it. He couldn't resist her and didn't want to come to resent her. He wanted to believe that they could have a happy ending. He had first hand knowledge of how great they could be, but if their recent history was any indication of how their story would end, it wasn't pretty. All he could picture was a future of self-loathing and resentment; none of which he wanted for himself or for Rayna. Damn if he could just stop loving her…

He strapped on his guitar and headed towards the stage. The rest of the band was already in place waiting for Juliette to finish adjusting her earpiece. Deacon took his spot prepared to run the set. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out to see a new message from Lynn. Smiling to himself he put the phone back in his pocket. He could be happy. He would be happy. He was going to focus on his future with this woman. Rayna would be okay. She was strong; she didn't need him…maybe if he kept telling himself these things long enough he would come to believe them as much as he desperately wanted to.

The drummer counted off the beats and Deacon and rest of the band launched into song.

TBC

(Don't worry guys, he's gonna give in and go check on her soon!)


	3. Chapter 3

(Thanks for all the reviews and interest in this story. It has been a lot of fun to write.)

Back in her dressing room Rayna let the tears flow freely as she paced back and forth. Her head was pounding, her eyes were burning, and her thoughts were racing.

"What am I going to do?" she cried.

There was no way that she could fall to pieces like that every time she saw him. What happened to her resolve and all that "I will be happy" mess she had been spouting to herself less than 15 minutes ago? Deacon happened and he was going to keep happening. They were on the same tour, sleeping in the same hotel, traveling on the same plane or bus or van. As much as she was trying, she couldn't avoid running into him at least once a day and she was just too raw and sad and overwhelmed to have his happiness rubbed in her face. She couldn't be happy for him right now; she just couldn't. She was unraveling at warp speed and had to do something fast.

"Okay…if I can just get through tonight then maybe I could rent a car and take off for a few days. I could drive…just drive…and think…and meet up with the tour the day after tomorrow…"

The thought of escape made her feel better momentarily, but then logic and reason once again stepped in. That was a horrible idea. Not only did she have a commitment to the fans who were expecting to see her tomorrow night, she also had a commitment to her band. She was providing their livelihood. If she didn't perform they didn't perform. She was a seasoned professional, a good businesswoman, and a decent person. Her outward integrity and credibility was not something she was willing to compromise even for the sake of her breaking heart.

"Okay…option two…there has to be another option…think Rayna, think… I can't run from this. There is no escape. I have to deal with it…it won't get better if I don't."

She continued to pace, trying to piece together a solution. She couldn't run, but something had to give. The unfairness of the entire situation kept coming to mind. She felt like a pouting child. She was a grown woman and knew that life wasn't fair. Life hadn't been fair to her, to Deacon, or to Teddy for that matter in a long time. Unfair…unfair…unfair. She couldn't quite let the word go. It was unfair that Deacon was so easily moving on without her. It was unfair that he was thriving while she was dying. It was unfair that she was afraid to tell him how she felt. That last thought made her stop in her tracks. She had to tell him how she felt. Regardless of this new woman, regardless of how happy he seemed; she had to tell him that she loved him. She owed it to him and to herself, to hell with the consequences. Things couldn't get much worse for her than they already were.

Not telling Deacon what she wanted and how much she loved him would be the biggest regret of her life. It would be unfair to both of them. In keeping quiet she could potentially lose him forever and letting him go without a fight would trivialize all of the emotional suffering that their forced separation had caused. Yes, he was happy now. The relationship was new and uncomplicated and Rayna could admit that she had given Deacon plenty of reasons to feel insecure in her love. She had been scared. She was still scared. Rayna had never been fully able to convince herself that she wasn't in some way responsible for his alcoholism. He hadn't been able to maintain sobriety when he was with her, but had been able to remain stone cold sober for better part of the last 13 years. She was terrified of the what ifs, terrified that history could repeat itself, but she was even more terrified at the thought of living the rest of her life without him. He was her friend, confidant, lover, the other half of her soul…he was her music…she could not be complete without him.

The pacing had stopped. She felt grounded and in control for the first time in weeks. Her head was still throbbing and her eyes were still swollen and burning, but she had a plan. Rayna wasn't sure how she was going to do it, only that it would be soon, before he dug any deeper into his new relationship. No one would ever be able to love him anywhere near the depth of her love. No one would ever know him like she did. She knew his every move, could predict his every reaction…she knew him almost better than he knew himself; the same way he knew her.

He was going to be mad. Of that Rayna had no doubt. He was happy and he deserved to be happy. She was not trying to trivialize his feelings towards this other woman or his current happiness, but he couldn't really be happy forging a life without her. They had come too far, suffered for too long not to make a happily ever after for themselves. She had no illusions that their life together would be perfect. They were not perfect. Fighting as a form of communication was art that they had perfected over the years. No, she wasn't looking for perfection, but she knew, unlike 20 years ago, or even 13 years ago, that they were mature enough and experienced enough in the ways of the world to fight for what they wanted and to take the happiness that they deserved.

Deacon was about to get the shock of his life. No more subtle messages, no more hidden meanings, no more missed opportunities, no more charged looks. She was going to lay it all out. Rayna Jaymes was a woman on a mission and she was going to get her man. Deacon was going to get mad, he was going to be frustrated, and he was going to be overwhelmed. He would be reactive and possibly explosive. He was going to demand answers and this time she was prepared to give them to him. She was confident in the fact that he was in love with her and had been for most of their adult lives.

She walked into the bathroom, splashed some cool water on her face and began making preparations for the show that was taking place in a matter of hours. 98% of her felt confident and in control, if only she could shut out the small, questioning voice in the back of her mind that kept asking what if she had waited too long? What if he had really decided to walk away?

TBC (a long overdue conversation is coming up next!)


	4. Chapter 4

Philadelphia, PA

11:47 pm (the next night)

The show was over. Deacon wished Philly a fond farewell. The final note had been sung, the crowd was leaving the stadium, and he was packing up his guitar. It had been a great show for both Rayna and Juliette and once again "Wrong Song" was the highlight of the night. Early tomorrow morning the tour would hit the road. Deacon breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to be another city down, another city closer to Nashville and to Lynn. He had successfully made it through one more day…only 6 weeks left to go. Damn that was a long time. A long time to be on the road, but more than that it was a long time to actively avoid Rayna. He wished that he hadn't seen her fly by him yesterday afternoon upset and out of sorts; wished that he could go back to floating on his cloud of happiness and oblivion, but that was not going to happen. She looked better this evening, but he knew more so than anyone that Rayna was a professional and would have checked whatever was bothering her at the stage door only to pick it up again when the show was over.

Seeing her yesterday had been the equivalent of opening Pandora's box. There was no way, after realizing she was upset and hurting, that he could turn a blind eye. Regardless of whatever baggage they shared between them, Deacon loved and cared for Rayna. It was a plain and simple fact. As justified as he felt in moving on and as excited as he was about the possibility of a new future, he could not stand to see her in pain. He had to check on her and assure himself that she would be okay.

Deacon lingered backstage a while longer, fighting his conflicting emotions. On one hand he was extremely hesitant to get within ten feet of Rayna for fear that her proximity would endanger his newfound happiness. This was why he had waited another 24 hours before checking on her. On the other hand, now that he had seen her, really seen her, he wanted to talk to her. He had been so out of touch with reality for the better part of the past month that he was just now realizing that she was still dealing with a lot. She was figuring out how to co-parent with Teddy, trying to find some semblance of normalcy at home with the girls…she must be feeling guilty about being back out on the road…and she was still dealing with the press. On top of all that something else was wrong. He had no idea what it was, but there again he had a sixth sense when it came to Rayna and his gut was telling him and that something else was wrong. Yes, he needed to check back in…it was just that getting too close could potentially undo everything. He was happy right now with someone else. Lynn was healing some of the pieces of his heart that Rayna had left jagged and bleeding.

In all honesty he was as much to blame for the sorry state of his heart as Rayna. They had spent the last thirteen years being in a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Neither of them had been able to cut their emotional ties to one another. It had been their saving grace and their damnation. They had been stuck, unable to give in and unable to let go; feelings left unspoken, needs gone unmet. Almost every glance held a hidden meaning…pain is what it all boiled down to. Exquisite pain. It was exhausting and exhilarating at the same time and had become his new normal, but now he was experiencing happiness without the hurting. Rayna was the love of his life and she always would be, but he deserved to be happy with someone else, someone who was willing to take him as he was and love him openly and freely. Rayna had tried finding love with someone else…it hadn't mattered then how he felt about it…all three of them (Teddy included) had paid penance for that decision, but this relationship with Lynn was different. They were in a different place in their lives. He had been alone a long time waiting for Rayna…she had had someone to go home to at night, someone to share her bed, someone to raise her children with…she had picked someone other than him to build a life with…now that he had found someone wasn't he due the same courtesy?

He let out a huge sigh and closed the guitar case. Backstage had cleared out and the ground crew was preparing to disassemble the stage, getting the arena ready for its next venue. The entourage had already headed back to the hotel, which meant that he had a little bit more time to make a game plan before approaching Rayna. This was going to be on his terms. He was going to call the shots. He would check in without getting too close or too involved. He could be supportive yet distant. They could coexist peacefully and he could still be happy with Lynn.

The cool night air was refreshing and he took a few deep breaths enjoying the quiet solitude. After a minute he shifted the guitar case to his left hand and raised his right to hail a cab. He had procrastinated enough that the van driving the band and some of the instruments back to the hotel had already left. He was okay with that. He felt the fluttering of anxiety in his stomach as a cab pulled to the curb. This cab was going to take him back to the hotel, back to Rayna.

He wished he could muster up some anger. It would decrease his vulnerability. Rayna was reactive to his anger and was always quick to armor herself. Arguing and bickering was a safe language for them. Like music it was a very intimate form communication, but it also created distance and had allowed them to walk that fine line of saying what they needed/wanted to say without actually saying it.

The cab ride was too short. In no time at all he was staring at the front doors of the hotel lobby. He paid the driver, grabbed the worn handle of the guitar, and got out of the cab. He took another deep breath.

There was no one on the elevator. As soon as he pushed the button, he heard the ding of the bell and the doors slid open. He made a quick pit stop by his room to drop off the guitar. His phone was heavy in his pocket as he once again stepped onto the elevator. He desperately wanted to call Lynn, to hear her voice, to get some reassurance, but decided against it. He was a grown man damn it and was more than capable of having an adult conversation. If he wanted to be with Lynn and wanted this new future then that's what he was going to have. No one was pressuring him to do anything. All he was doing was talking to Rayna. How many times had he done that before…hundreds of thousands. It was just talking. Why was he getting so worked up? It was ridiculous. It wasn't like she was going to seduce him…nine times out of ten, based on their recent history; she would try to shut him out. If that was to happen at least he could rest easy knowing that he had done his due diligence in checking up on her. Things were going to be fine. He was going to be happy. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Deacon stepped out into the hallway and made a left.

"This will be fine. She's gonna be fine and I'm gonna be fine."

He ran through his pep talk one final time as he approached her hotel room door and raised his hand to knock.

TBC

(Sorry this one is a little short, but it's definitely necessary...building up to the big talk!)


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay...life, what can I say? This is an extremely short chapter I know...and another tease...sorry, but I want to make sure that I get this right. I'm currently working on the next chapter so it will hopefully be up soon. Thanks for all the awesome reviews and alerts. Happy reading :)

Philadelphia, PA

11:47 pm

Rayna was sitting on the couch in her suite staring into space, lost in thought as Deacon prepared to knock on her door. Even though she had decided to tell him how she felt, she was still undecided about her approach. She had run through various scenarios all evening, but none of them felt right. This was one of the biggest decisions that she would ever make in her life. Everything was riding on this: her future, Deacon's future, the girl's future…this was too big to rush. It had to be done right. She had to make sure that Deacon heard, really heard, what she was saying. They had gone so many years avoiding this very topic, dancing around the heart of their true desires. She was finally ready to take that leap, to say what they both had been waiting so long to hear…only now Deacon wasn't quite in tune with her which was going to make things harder. He was distracted by the possibility of a new future, one far removed from the mess and heartache of their tangled love. It wasn't their love that he was running from. In her heart of hearts Rayna was confident in this fact. It was the pain, disappointment and uncertainty that he was trying to leave behind. She had to prove to him that they were bigger than their fears. This wasn't 13 years ago. Fundamentally they were the same people, which was why they were still hopelessly in love and drawn to one another, but they had lived and learned. She was determined that mistakes that they made years ago would remain in the past. They were ready for this…they deserved this. It was still scary to jump back in headfirst, the waters ran deep and the current was strong, but it was even more scary to Rayna to let him walk away.

The knocking startled her. She couldn't imagine who in the world would be at her door at almost one in the morning. Everyone had an early day.

Rayna was completely unprepared to see Deacon on the other side of her hotel room door. She met his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she lost herself for a moment in those familiar baby blues. It was only for a second, almost equally as fast a myriad of thoughts, emotions, and questions came crashing down on her. She was confused, overjoyed, and terrified all in the same instant. For the past two weeks Rayna had wanted nothing more than this very moment...Deacon at her door...one step closer to where he was supposed to be, but how and why had he ended up here tonight? She quickly searched his face for clues. He definitely looked different than he had yesterday. That dreamy, faraway look was gone, replaced by something else...his face was so familiar and yet different at the same time. It was unnerving. Rayna pushed her emotions and questions aside for the moment choosing instead to concentrate on regaining her composure. She had to hold it together. As she met his eyes for the second time, she focused on breathing evenly and slowing down of her racing heart.

As she opened the door, Deacon got his first real glimpse of Rayna in weeks. She was still breathtakingly beautiful, especially when she wasn't trying to be…like right now. Hair falling in soft waves around her make-up free face; she reminded him of her teenage self. His heart skipped a beat.

She looked surprised when she opened the door and saw him. She had been about to say something, her lips still halfway forming a word. He met her eyes. Whoever coined the phrase "the eyes are the windows to the soul" had to have had Rayna in mind. Her eyes really were the windows to her soul. While she was quick to lock everything up in a mask of cool indifference, he was even quicker to read her eyes. In those brief first moments he saw a range of emotions flicker across her gaze: surprise, relief, sadness, and confusion.

Crap. Who was he kidding thinking this was going to be easy?

"Hey stranger," he said, giving her a slightly strained half smile.

"Hey yourself." It was a soft reply.

They continued to stare at one another for a few more seconds. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but the there was heaviness in the space between them. They were each holding their breath waiting for something to happen, neither quite sure how to proceed.

Rayna finally broke the silence "You wanna come in? There's a couch in there that's a heck of a lot more comfortable than this hallway. "

"That'd be nice."

He gave her another small smile and took a step forward. Rayna moved to the side, giving Deacon access to the entrance. She took one more deep breath as she closed the door. She wasn't sure why he had come or what he was expecting to happen, but he had unknowingly given her the opportunity that she had been looking for. This had to be more than a serendipitous coincidence. This was her chance, her lifeline and she going to grab it with both hands; no looking back…Rayna turned from the closed door and followed Deacon into the suite.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay...hope you enjoy :) thanks to all those who are following this story and thanks for the awesome comments!

He took in the spacious room and the gorgeous view of the city cloaked in its nightly splendor. Rayna was definitely in her element. This lifestyle suited her. She had worked hard to build her empire and he was glad that she was reaping the rewards. He smiled to himself as he sat down thinking about long ago nights in tiny, cramped hotel rooms. Rayna had been the opening act for bigger bands while she was climbing her way to stardom. Those days had really been something. Playing gigs, spending countless hours writing songs; living on love and music alone. He could still see the headlights bouncing off old papered walls through cracks in drawn curtains, smell the scent of stale cigarettes in aged and faded carpets, hear the cadence of whispered lyrics in the dark, and could still very much remember the feel of her body wrapped around his. They had come a long way since then.

"Can I get you anything?" Her words broke the spell of his memories.

"No, I'm okay. I can't stay long. We got an early morning, but I just wanted to catch up. Haven't really had the chance to talk to you since my birthday."

"Yeah. That seems like a million years ago doesn't it?" she said sitting down next to him. She curled her right leg under her left and rested her forearms in her lap letting her gaze to drift around the room. Deacon allowed his eyes to do the same, giving him a few seconds to sit quietly and relax into her nearness. After tonight they may not be able to have too many more moments like this one and he intended to enjoy it. They sat in silence for a while longer. Being in the same room with one another and sharing mutual space was comfortable. In many ways it felt like coming home. It was this familiar feeling of contentment and peace, combined with the fear that this would be the last of its kind, that prompted Rayna to make her next and most critical move.

"Deacon," Rayna turned her body to face his, her right knee resting solidly against his left thigh. She looked into his eyes; hers were already brimming with unshed tears.

Just the way she said his name had him on high alert, something was coming. He could hear the tears; could sense her vulnerability. He turned his body slightly towards hers. Whatever she had to say most likely had the potential to rock his world; she was going to lay him flat. The red lights and the sirens were all but screaming at him to get his ass out of that room, but his intrinsic need to comfort her overrode any impulse he had to be standoffish. He knew he was a fool. "Ray." He reached out and laid his palm over her clasped hands. His touch was warm and gentle. Her gaze was drawn to their union.

She took a long, shaky breath and plunged forward. It was now or never. No more rehearsing, no more dreaming, no more wondering; this was it. A tear slipped down her cheek. She once again raised her eyes to meet his.

"I have tried for so long to tell myself that I made the right decision for you and me by choosing Teddy. And in some ways I feel like me walkin' away was your saving grace…I thank God everyday that you're alive and that I still have you in my life, but it's not enough. I need you…and this arrangement we've had isn't working. I can't breathe without you. I can't think without you. I'm not whole without you." Her voice faltered as she pushed back the sobs. The tears were freely flowing. "My heart is still tangled up in you and as much as I've tried to let you go, I can't…I don't want to because bottom line is I love you. I have loved you for almost as long as I can remember and I can't fight it anymore."

Deacon felt his eyes beginning to fill with tears. His emotions were going about a hundred different directions all at once. He was overjoyed; she was here telling him everything he had been longing to hear since the day she walked away from him during his last stint in rehab. He was incredibly sad at the thought of her heart ache and all the time they had spent apart. He was taken aback by her brutal honesty (she was always brutally honest with him, but not about this). He was hopeful. He was unsure…

Before he could utter a word she continued. "I know that you're with someone. And she seems great and more than anything I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. God knows I've put you through the ringer more than once. I thought pushin' you away was keepin' you safe. I thought it was keepin' me safe, but it wasn't. It just made a mess of things. I've hurt you; it's obvious. I see it every time we're together. But Deacon I love you. I'm not askin' for you to change your mind…" she paused, "well, actually I am askin' for you to do that, but if you don't…" her voice broke for a sob, "…I do understand. I just had to…to tell you…"

98% of Deacon wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless. He almost did. They were in their own little world. Everyone else and everything else had faded away. There was only population 2. She was vulnerable and telling him that she loved him and was asking to put the pain of that past behind them for the promise of the life that they had been robbed of; the life that they both desperately wanted. It was Eve holding out the forbidden fruit…too freakin' good to be true. The buzzing in his pocket returned him to reality and brought back his pride. It reminded him that he had decided that he was not going to sabotage himself any more than he already had. He was not going to give into Rayna…no matter how much he wanted to. He was in the beginnings of a committed relationship, one that didn't have a blinking neon doomed to fail sign over it…well, maybe the sign wasn't neon or blinking but now he knew that it going to fail. Even with that knowledge he wasn't gonna give this one to Rayna. He wasn't gonna lose

"Damnit Rayna." There was no force or anger to his words. They came out as a sigh. He removed his hands from hers and stood up. The space allowed him to breathe. It allowed him to hide everything else behind a mask of exasperation and anger. "Why?" This was said with more force and there was a definite edge to his tone. "Why now? It is because I've moved on and am not chasin' your coattails? Is it because you're lonely at night in your big old bed without Teddy? Is it that you can't stand to see me happy without you? Well, I watched you play at happy for thirteen years Rayna! I never once asked you to give up your fancy life to come back to me. Not once! You left me and didn't even look back. I'm trying to still be here for you and make this work with Lynn. I deserve to have this chance. I deserve to be with someone who isn't constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop or hiding behind a fake marriage. I deserve to be happy. Now you're trying to take it away from me?"

So many thoughts were rushing through her head. Disbelief, confusion…she was shell shocked. Anger she had been prepared for, cruelty, not so much. Part of her knew that he was just trying to protect himself; she had thrown her own curveball at him, but he had pricked a nerve. "I've always wanted you to be happy Deacon. Always." Her voice rose to meet his volume and pitch.

"Happy? You didn't want me to be happy. You wanted me eternally pinin' for you. That made you happy."

"I never forced you to stay." The words were said slowly and deliberately, emotion making it hard to get them out.

"You never let me go. You said so yourself."

"You wanna go? Huh? Then go. You know where the door is. Nothin's keepin' you here Deacon. You brought yourself and you can take yourself on out. I did not ask you to come."

"I just can't believe you. I really can't Rayna…I can't deal with this right now…I…" He needed to get out. She was too close. He was drowning in her nearness. She was offering salvation while plunging the knife in deeper.

He headed to the door, running his hand along the sideboard as he went. He took a deep breath, pausing before pushing the handle. He turned slightly, eyes downcast focusing on the carpet at his feet. When he spoke it was without anger and malice. It was filled with weariness and regret. "I love you Rayna. I always have and I always will, but I can't do this now. You said that you would understand so I'm askin' you to understand that I need to walk out of this room."

He could hear her crying. She was fighting against the sobs that were building in her chest. He couldn't look back…looking back would undo it all. She took a shaky breath. "I understand Deacon." It was all she could get out; it was all he could stand to hear. He pushed open the door and fled the scene.

&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!

The lights in the hallway were eerily bright. His ears were buzzing and his head was spinning. Black spots danced in his field of vision. Deacon braced his body against the wall and squatted down focusing on pulling deep, long breaths into his body. What had just happened? More importantly, what had he just done? Proved a point…kept his pride…broke Rayna's heart…broke his own heart. Check to all four of the above. "Damn it," he whispered under his breath.

Rayna sank to her knees as the door closed behind Deacon. She couldn't breathe. Her breath was coming in short pants. She felt light headed; the pain in her chest was unbearable. She lowered her chest to her knees, arms wrapped around her middle, resting her forehead on the carpet in a fetal position. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to move. She was going to die right in this spot. The sobs that she had been holding back broke free with a fiery vengeance. She could not control them. Everything, all the hope, excitement, joy, fear, disappointment, and pain flowed out in her tears and sobs. She wasn't sure how long she lay there crying; she only knew that when the outpouring was done, all she felt was numb. She could see no future, could not plan what would happen in the next hour, day, week, month, or year. Everything looked bleak, she felt hopeless. She was doing good to keep breathing in and out.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews and story alerts! Here's a little something to get us to the next longer chapter…I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long without some silver lining.

Deacon wasn't sure how long he sat in the hallway facing the penthouse elevators. Every fiber of his being had screamed for him to flee the room, to put distance between them, but he hadn't been able to make it very far. He couldn't…physically, mentally, or emotionally. Everything was messed up. Right was left, up was down, and backwards was forwards. In less than 20 minutes Rayna had completely derailed his life and done it in true Rayna Jaymes fashion, she'd gone all out. He wanted to pretend that he had no idea how one woman could bring so much joy and heart ache at the same time, but he knew how…she wouldn't hold power over him if he didn't let her, if he didn't love her, and he did. He loved her completely and with an intensity that shook him to his very core. Over the years he had pushed that love down so deep, that he had almost forgotten how white hot it burned. The dull ache that he had has been feeling every day for years was nothing compared to this. She unburied it by telling him that she needed him, that she was still as ensnared in him as he was in her, that she not only wanted him but could see a future; a real future.

He let out a huge sigh, closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the wall. His need to be free from her now seemed shallow and juvenile; the prospect of an uncomplicated and easy relationship sounded less than ideal. If he had truly wanted a new beginning he would have stayed away. He had known better and had been asking for this, but it didn't make the feelings any easier to sit with.

He caught sight of his blurred reflection in the elevator doors. It was obvious even from a distance and through the haze of the brushed steel that he was looking at a broken man. He looked down at his hands. He wasn't going to be broken for long. This was his life and he was the author. No more waiting for someone else to decide what role he was going to play; who he was going to be; who he was going to love. In one hand he held his cell phone. There were multiple texts from Lynn. He was sure that they were sweet and probably by this point concerned because he had failed to respond for several hours. In the other hand he held the key card to Rayna's room. Even in his state of panic he had seen his lifeline on the sideboard and grabbed it before walking out of the door.

He was going to go back to her. There was no way he was leaving this floor tonight. He wasn't planning on leaving tomorrow without Rayna by his side for that matter, but before he went to pick up the pieces of their shattered hearts, he had to break another. Lynn hadn't asked for this. She had been nothing but good to him…good for him. With all that being said, if the relationship was meant to dissolve, now was probably the best time for that to happen while it was still new. The break would be cleaner, the pain less severe, and the scaring less visible. In the long run he knew he would end up hurting her because, Rayna said it best, his heart was still tangled up in her and as much as he had wanted it to be, there was no real room for Lynn to find a home there.

With another sigh he pulled up his call log and highlighted Lynn's number. This conversation was the last hurdle he had to jump through before beginning the rest of his life. Having it over the phone was less than ideal, but he was determined that he was not going back to Rayna without having it done. When he saw her again he was going all in; no questions, no take backs, no hesitation. He pushed the call button and brought the phone to his ear.

"_Deacon! I was beginning to get a little worried…"_

&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&

Rayna's body hurt. Every joint, every muscle; her nerve endings were raw. It physically hurt to push air in and out of her lungs. She couldn't get what had just transpired between them out of her mind. Like a broken record it kept playing over and over…especially the part where Deacon resignedly informed her that while he loved her he needed to walk away from her. What the hell did that mean? Was he done? Forever? Had she waited too long? Did it hurt too much? Was she that horrible? Did he have so little faith in her and in her ability to love him? She had laid her heart bare and allowed herself to be vulnerable in a way that she seldom did and for what? For him to walk away…it was too painful to really chew on and she couldn't quit replaying the scene long enough to closely examine it even if she wanted to. Rayna had never felt so alone or so rejected in her entire life. Deacon was her north star. He pointed the way home…he was home. She didn't know how to survive without him.

A sob ripped it's way out of her chest. Her eyes, already raw and stinging, began to burn with new tears. How in the world were there any more left? She was exhausted. Her body was beginning to severely protest its position on the floor. She had no idea how long she had been there, but her knees were screaming, her hands were losing feeling from being pressed between her abdomen and thighs and her back was aching. Rayna slowly unfolded herself. She went to stand, but quickly decided against it as the room began to spin. Deacon could have physically laid her flat with a baseball bat and she would have fared better than this. She crawled, slowly and painfully towards the bedroom and used every last ounce of her remaining strength to scratch her way up onto the bed. The sobs were beginning again. The pain curled around itself like waves, building and crashing, back and forth with no relief. She was caught in the tide and drowning fast. She felt hopeless and lost. Never in her wildest imaginings or worst nightmares could she have predicted this. She lay there, wishing for sleep to claim her and put her out of her misery if only for a little while when she heard what sounded like the opening and closing of the door to the suite.

TBC! This was short and sweet, but it sets the stage for my next chapter


	8. Chapter 8

I had planned for this to be the beginning of a longer chapter, but due to the craziness that has been this week, I have decided to break it up and go ahead and post this. I think it sets things up nicely for things yet to come. BeckyPo this one's for you

"Rayna." She had to be at the point of hallucination. There was no way in the world that she was hearing Deacon's voice whisper her name. "Rayna." She heard it again. She squeezed her eyes tighter and curled her body around the pillow that she was clutching to her chest. She was hearing what she wanted to hear…several minutes of complete silence had passed since she heard what she thought was the door. She desperately wanted to believe that Deacon would return to her, but his resolve had seemed firm…her imaginings had to stop; she had to shut them down otherwise she was going to lose her mind and she was barely hanging on as it was. Rayna concentrated on keeping her mind as blank as possible. The silence of the room was loud. She let out of shaky breath of relief, proud that she was still functioning enough to have some control over something, even if it was just the quieting of her mind. "Rayna." Damn. There it was again. She let out a soft guttural moan. Barely had the noise escaped her body when she felt herself being pulled into strong arms.

The suite was dark and quiet when Deacon entered. He didn't know how long he had been sitting in the hallway, but he was glad that he wasn't walking in to find Rayna on the living room floor. He knew that he had left her in pieces. She had offered up her very soul and he had taken it, stomped on it, and casually kicked it back at her. He made a beeline for the bedroom. The curtains were still open, the city's glow casting a soft light across the room. He saw her lying on her bed. She was on her side, facing the window, back to the bedroom door. He could hear soft crying. He took a small step forward. "Rayna." Her name was a soft caress against his lips. He watched her, waiting for a reaction or some acknowledgement of his presence. Nothing. "Rayna." Another whisper. She still didn't acknowledge him, but curled her body more tightly around the pillow she was holding. He waited. Was she ignoring him or did she not hear him? "Rayna." It was said with a little more force. This time he was greeted with a noise. Something between a sob and a moan. It snaked through his ears and stabbed at his already bleeding heart. He didn't wait, he didn't think, he crossed the room in two long strides and grabbed her. He braced his weight with his right knee and as he lifted turned her body towards his so that her face ended up nestled between his shoulder and his neck. It was a perfect fit; it felt like coming home.

Rayna was enveloped in Deacon; his arms, his smell, his warmth. He had turned her so that her head was nestled against his neck. Under her cheek she felt the firmness of his collarbone, her nose was pressed under his ear and her lips were resting against the side of his neck where she could feel the faint pulsing of his heart. She didn't how or why he was back, she didn't care. All that mattered was that he was here holding her. It was overwhelming; it was wonderful; it was everything. The tears began to flow with more force. She twisted her body enough so that she could wrap her arms around him and held on tightly.

Deacon held Rayna as closely to his body as he possibly could; but even that didn't feel close enough. If he could melt into her he gladly would. His own tears began to well and roll down his cheeks. He didn't try to stop them. This was a defining moment; one that they would both remember for the rest of their lives and he wanted to feel every second of it. They lay there bodies entwined, feeling, really feeling for the first time in years. Only when Rayna's sobs had her gasping for air did they loosen their grasp enough to allow for a few deep breaths.

Rayna raised her head. Deacon lowered his. Their eyes met, saying everything that in that moment words couldn't adequately express. They would need to talk. In fact they would need to talk a lot. Words had been said with the specific intent to damage and they had left their mark. They were each carrying around fresh battle wounds, but talking could wait for tomorrow. Now all that mattered was that they were here together in this moment. There would be time for talking, time for forgiving, and time for loving, but right now they just concentrated on being.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry to all of those following this story for the delay. Hope you enjoy. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

The early light of dawn was beginning to streak the sky before either Rayna or Deacon dared move. It was a surreal feeling being able to freely be this close. They were each acutely aware of the other. The weight and heat of entwined bodies, the gentle cadence of beating hearts, the mingling of breaths. However after 13 years of yearning and wanting and not having, this moment felt magical, like a dream; too good to be true. Moving, even turning over to relieve an aching hip or straightening to work out a kink in the back had the potential to break the spell. The carriage would turn back into a pumpkin, the dress into rags, and the horses into mice. Both were afraid that if they moved they would wake up to broken hearts and empty beds. Rayna dug her fingernails deeper into his shoulder pulling at the fabric of his shirt. Her face was still nestled into the curve of his neck. She drew a deep breath, breathing him in. This was real. He was here.

"Deacon." The first word he heard was his name whispered into his neck. It was said with a kind of soft awe, like she couldn't quite believe that this was happening.

"I'm here Ray. I'm right here." He unwrapped his left arm from her body and began gently pulling it through her hair. It was so soft, just like he remembered. Lying with her was just like he remembered. They fit together like two adjoining pieces of the same puzzle.

She tilted her head and met his eyes. He gave her a soft smile.

"Hi." Her returning smile was in her eyes as much as it was playing on her lips. He loved those eyes. They were a steely blue. From a distance, and depending on what she was wearing, they could look hazel, but this morning they were a clear blue. The evidence of the trauma from the preceding hours was still etched on her face. Her lids were puffy, dried tear marks stained her cheeks, and her voice was huskier than normal. A pain shot through his heart. He pulled her to him and gently kissed her forehead.

"Good morning to you," he whispered softly upon releasing her. She settled comfortably back into the cradle of his arms, her hand gently brushing his jawline. His stubble tickled the pads of her fingertips.

"You came back to me." It was a simple statement.

"Did you ever really doubt that I would? I mean really Ray."

"You put on a pretty good show of sayin' you were done and walkin' out that door. Honestly Deacon I didn't know…I…" Emotion was making her voice crack and her eyes glisten. "I thought I'd waited too long…that I'd pushed you too far…that I'd lost you." She drew a shaky breath and nuzzled her face along his jawline. "I don't even know how to describe what I felt other than completely destroyed. I'm layin' here havin' to constantly tell myself that this is true; that I'm not dreamin'. I…"

Her words were hurting him...physically hurting him. Hearing her say what he already knew, what he had already started doing internal penance for was too painful to hear. He hadn't been able to eradicate the image of her lying on the bed curled in the fetal position from his mind. He could still hear the sound of her broken moan when he called out her name. The addict in him wanted to hide from the pain, to push it away. Deacon leaned down and cut her words off with a kiss. It was forceful, full mouth kiss. She responded to him, eager for more contact, but they were not going to start out like this. As much as she wanted him, and boy did she want him, she was determined that they were going to write a new story instead of retracing the old one.

Rayna softly pulled away and looked into his eyes. She could see the pain and the guilt; it was etched all over his face.

"Babe, don't go takin' all this and puttin' it on yourself. You are not to blame. We are both equally responsible for what happened last night and all the time leadin' up to last night. We are both responsible for where we go from here and what happens next."

"Ray…"

She silenced him by laying her fingertips gently on his lips.

"I know. I know you seeing me in pain damn near kills you. I know Deacon. And I am in pain. I thought I'd lost you last night…for good. I've never felt that separated from you ever and the memory of it will hurt for a while, but babe I'm not the only one hurting. You are too. Which is why we're gonna talk about it. This is where the healing starts; this is where the change begins. I love you. Without a shadow of a doubt I know that to be true. I also know, with absolute certainty, that you love me too and you want this as much as I do. You wouldn't be here if you didn't. This is our chance to do this right…we owe it to ourselves to talk this out. It's scary and it's ugly and it's messy…talkin' about what we want and what we need hasn't always been our strong suit…actually our track record pretty much sucks, but we're stronger now and we can do this. I have faith in us." She raised her head and gently kissed his lips.

Tears ran freely down his cheeks. He was a man who believed in second chances and making amends. As an addict he had to be, otherwise he would still be at the bottom of a bottle or worse yet six feet under. Her words were like a healing balm to his soul. They didn't take away all the pain or the guilt, but they gave him a renewed sense of hope. Hope for a future with the woman he loved more than life itself, hope in them as a couple, and hope in himself. He was going to be the man that Rayna deserved. This go around they would get this right and it started now, right this second. He took a deep breath. All he could see was love in her eyes.

"I do love you Rayna. More than I ever thought was possible. I've loved you for most of my life and what you said earlier, about not bein' whole without me, well that goes for me too. I don't know how to live without you and as much as I've been tryin' to fight it recently, I don't want to live without you." A tear slipped down his cheek, she wiped it with the pad of her thumb. "I know that I've let you down, that I've made you doubt in me and in us…that's the part that hurts the most…that I made you think that you weren't enough..." His voice broke, "you have always been enough, more than enough…so much more than I could ever imagine; definitely more than I deserve."

"Deacon." Rayna raised herself up on an elbow and took his face between her hands, cradling it so that she was able to have uninterrupted eye contact. "You deserve every bit of happiness that life has to offer. I will not let you lay here and shortchange yourself. You deserve so much more than you've had." Her voice got softer, "We deserve more. What defined the past will not define our here and now. You've been sober for the better part of 14 years. I am so incredibly proud of you and I believe in you."

Deacon raised his hand to lay it over one of hers, which was still cupping his face. "But I did hurt you Ray, again and again. No matter what you say or how much you want us to work, I know that you're afraid…I'm afraid. That's one of the reasons why I was so ready to jump in heavy with Lynn because I knew that she couldn't compare now to 14 years ago."

Tears ran down her face. She closed eyes and her lowered her forehead until it was touching his. He could feel the warm wetness drop onto and run down his cheeks mingling with his own tears. He felt as much as he heard her take a deep breath. She drew back once more forcing eye contact. "I am afraid…of lots of things, but what I'm most afraid of is lettin' you walk away from me. I know I told you this before, but I need you to really hear me and understand that when I walked away from you all those years ago, I wasn't givin' up on you. I was tryin' to save you. I was tryin' to save you because I loved you and it was the only thing that I could think to do. We just kept circlin' the same drain and I was afraid that you were gonna fall through. I know it felt like a punishment and it was for both of us, but I'm not convinced that it would have worked any other way." The tears were freely falling, coming faster and harder. She drew another shaky breath. "I love you so much Deacon Claybourne."

There was more, so much more that was going to need to be said. He knew without a doubt that there were going to need to be many follow-up conversations but he knew for a fact that they had time. Precious time. He drew her lips close to his and gently placed a soft kiss on them before drawing back and stating "I…" he pulled her in for another kiss, "love," another kiss, "you."

Their bodies were awake…passion so long denied could not be ignored any longer. The rest of the talking would have to wait.

TBC…lovin' to follow


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy.

Deacon pulled Rayna's body on top of his and kissed her fully. She met his kiss with equal passion and it wasn't long before lips parted and tongues began exploring…it felt right, it felt familiar. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing. Rayna groaned into Deacon's open mouth and brought her hands to his face, trying to pull him closer as if that was even possible. He brought one of his hands to her head lacing his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck and left the other solidly holding onto the small of her back allowing their hips to keep full contact.

Even through the intoxicating headiness of the kisses his mind still had enough clarity to marvel at the fact that this was happening. He could barely believe that she was here with him, that she freely showering him with love and affection, and that his hands had complete and total access to her body. He could feel every inch of her on top of him and the quickening of her heartbeat as passion mounted. The weight of her body was pushing his deeper into the mattress, her hair was falling in soft waves around their necks, her smell, one that was distinctly Rayna, was overwhelming his senses. "Ray…" he gasped in between kisses. She pulled back slightly and gazed into his eyes. In the pale morning light he could see her dilated pupils, her lips were slightly swollen from his kisses and her cheeks were flushed a healthy pink with desire.

"I love you…I want you. Make love to me Deacon."

He didn't need second invitation or further instruction. He gently pushed her back off of him into a sitting position and rose to his knees facing her. He grabbed her neck once more to pull her in for another kiss. She seized his elbows to brace her weight and keep her balance…the room was spinning at his touch. She was lost in all that was Deacon…the feel of his kisses, the heat from his body, his hands on her face, neck, shoulders…it was intoxicating. No one except for Deacon had ever been able to elicit this kind of response from her body and her soul. She allowed herself to let go.

He drew back from her lips and began trailing open-mouthed kisses down the side of her throat to her collarbone. Teeth and tongue grazed the soft skin of her neck while his hands trailed down the side of her breasts, ribs and torso until they found the hem of her shirt. Rayna allowed her hands to leave his elbows and make a similar trail down his forearms and the sides of his waist until she reached the front of his jeans. As he slowly and tenderly lifted her shirt and grazed her stomach and hips with his fingertips, she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. The teasing and taunting went on for a few more minutes until she absolutely could not stand it anymore and moaned into his neck with urgency "Deacon please."

In one quick movement her shirt was over her head. Her hair had not completely settled into place from the shirt being ripped from her body before her bra joined it somewhere near the foot of the bed. Deacon pulled back to look at her. She was stunning. The years had changed her body slightly. While she was still smooth and toned he could small and subtle changes but to him it made her all the more beautiful. "Rayna" he breathed. She smiled at him. She felt safe, loved, and adored.

She pulled him to her once more kissing him fully and pawing at the buttons of his shirt. He helped her by pulling and tugging and eventually his shirt joined the growing pile of discarded clothing. Skin to skin, damn it felt so good, so right. Once again mouths battled for contact, arms and legs entangled in one another. They lost their balance and fell back onto the bed, Rayna on top of Deacon.

He rolled her over and made quick work of pulling off her remaining clothing. Leggings and panties hit the floor in one deft swipe. She struggled to sit up and tug at his jeans. Deacon broke contact for a brief second, his eyes never leaving hers, to shimmy out of his pants and back onto her. Nothing had ever felt more right. They paused for a moment to enjoy the contact, the heat, the wild beating of their hearts. He kissed her once more raising his hips allowing her to adjust hers. Without breaking the kiss he lowered his body to meet hers. They joined, Body to body, soul to soul. It was beautiful and pure, everything it had once been, everything they knew it could be and more. It was a new beginning, a symbol of their love made tangible, a pact made flesh. They found their rhythm, moving in time to one another, dancing to their own music. Gradually the pace increased until both fell over the edge into blissful oblivion.

Rayna nuzzled Deacon's neck as her heartbeat slowed and she languidly floated back to planet earth. With the little remaining strength that he had Deacon pulled her body closer to his so she was halfway lying on top of him. His hands resting on the small of her back and the curve of her bottom, one of her legs straddled over his lower torso, the other snuggly resting against his thigh. He sighed contentedly and kissed the top of her head. She lightly traced his jawline with her finger and planted a kiss on his collarbone.

"I love you. Thank you for coming back to me." It was a soft whisper.

He drew her to him, gently cradling her head in his palm, allowing her to burrow her face into the curve where neck met shoulder.

"I love you too, more than life itself." You are my world Rayna. I've only made it this far because of you. Never forget that. Thank you for lovin' me."

The sun climbed higher. It rays bouncing off of the windows of the city's buildings making everything sparkle. The sky morphed from a light gray to a dusty pink to the beginnings of a brilliant and a clear blue. The open curtains allowed the suite to be washed in strong morning light. The rest of the world would soon begin to rise. In a matter of an hour or two the entourage would begin the ritual of breaking camp and heading to the next venue. Roadies would load the remaining instruments and equipment, band mates would shuffle down the hall with suitcases in tow heading for the buses, and managers would already be mapping out itineraries. Rayna and Deacon would have to leave the safety and comfort of this bed and rejoin the real world.

Deacon stretched. It was long and languid. Rayna enjoyed the feeling of his body moving under hers. She could feel the stretching of his abs and obliques against her breast and ribs. She was very aware of the bunching of the muscles in his quadriceps as he straightening his legs. His hips swiveled slightly pressing against apex of her thighs. She felt the quickening of desire once again. "Deacon, you'd better watch all that movin' and stretchin' if you plan on leaving this room here in the next little while." He smiled and squirmed a bit more. "Deacon." This time his name came out a little more breathy and she reflexively pushed herself against his body. He captured her lips with his own. In between kisses he whispered, "I think that we probably have time for round two." She smiled against his lips. With that he rolled on top of her and began taking her through the intoxicating motions of the dance once more.


End file.
